


Baby Bump

by LittleSpider



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: AU, Clintasha - Freeform, Epic fluff, F/M, Family, Fluff, Gen, Kinda, Pepperony - Freeform, Pregnancy, SO MUCH FLUFF, Science Bros, pregnancy au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-20
Updated: 2013-12-20
Packaged: 2018-01-05 06:24:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1090672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleSpider/pseuds/LittleSpider
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bruce decides to educate Clint on impending...motherhood??</p>
            </blockquote>





	Baby Bump

Clint walked into Stark Towers. His wife, Natasha had been sent there for testing. Since SHIELD were out of the loop with this pregnancy Bruce was their obstetrician and surprisingly enjoyed the role. As he had commented over a cup of coffee during their first scan:  
“No chance of me damaging my genetic make up handling urine samples and amniotic fluid, right?”  
Clint had business to attend to with an old colleague and had sent Natasha to have her scans before returning.  
Walking in, he stood still while JARVIS performed a quick scan and then greeted Pepper who offered him coffee.  
“Nah, just had three, thanks.” he responded walking in. “How's Nat?”  
“She's fine.” came a softly spoken response, followed by a door shutting.  
Clint turned to look at Bruce Banner who was walking in with a coffee cup of his own, empty by the way he was holding it.  
“Good.” Clint smiled. “How's it going Bruce?”  
“Oh...” Bruce began, heading to the kitchen and refilling his coffee cup from the ever bubbling percolator “Fine. 152 days without incident.”  
Clint grinned. Bruce always had a wickedly dry sense of humour.  
“Wow. That's good to hear!”  
“Yeah. They're giving me my pink chip next week...” Bruce dead-panned, taking a swig of the black, acrid smelling coffee.  
Clint laughed as Bruce put his cup down and rubbed his eye behind his glasses.  
“The Scan went well...” he muttered through a yawn.  
“The baby okay?” Clint asked as Pepper attended to her tablet.  
“Very healthy. The right size, right weight, shape. All organs are developing well...Though, I did want to talk to you about Natasha.”  
Clint frowned.  
“...Why?”  
“Just a few things...” Bruce began, sipping his coffee again, gesturing to the couch. “Nothing reflecting on you...Just something I wanted to talk to you about.”  
Clint sat down, a million concerns uncoiling in his mind.  
“Right.” Bruce began. “How much sleep has Natasha been getting?”  
Clint immediately went on the offensive.  
“More than usual. Why?”  
Bruce pushed his glasses up his nose and hesitated about how to explain.  
“When you see a woman on the subway, a pregnant woman, nine months...what do you think?”  
“...She's tired...”  
“Why?”  
“...Because she's carrying a lot of weight?” Clint replied slowly, as if he was missing a point.  
“Why?”  
“Because of the baby?”  
“Exactly.” Bruce began and then looked around musingly before looking at Pepper.  
“Pepper, do you have a rucksack hanging around? And a...Pomegranate?”  
Pepper looked confused.  
“May I ask why?”  
“It will become clear.”  
Pepper shook her head and walked away. After years of dealing with Tony Stark, Bruce Banner was easy.  
Clint eyed the doctor with apprehension. What was this guy planning?  
Pepper returned with the rucksack and a pomegranate.  
Bruce stood up and smiled at Pepper gratefully, taking the two.  
Clint had an epiphany of what Bruce was gonna do the second before he strapped the rucksack to him, front ways and slipped the pomegranate into the canvas material.  
Pepper smiled and covered her hands with her mouth before sobering up as Clint gave her a narrow look.  
“...How's that feel?” Bruce asked, adjusting the strapping.  
“S'okay. he responded, non committally.  
“Good.” smiled Bruce. “Not too heavy?”  
“No...It's okay.” Clint insisted.  
“Good. Pepper, can I raid your cupboards?”  
Pepper smiled, repressing laughter behind her voice as he clued in to what he was doing.  
“Go right ahead.”  
Clint stood with growing apprehension as Bruce wandered off into the kitchen of Stark Towers and rifled the cupboards. He was wondering what the hell Bruce was trying to do to him, and praying Tony didn't walk through the door.  
After a few minutes, Bruce returned looking like he'd just made the 7-11 at 10:53 on Christmas eve.  
“Okay...You got your pomegranate. That's the baby. 21 weeks. Same size, same weight.”  
Dumping the armful of goodies on the coffee table, he picked up a small bag of sugar.  
“2lbs for your placenta...” he slid the sugar in as Clint stared down into the open rucksack.  
“And 2lbs for your waters...They'll come away at the birth...” he added three oranges.  
He looked musingly at the table before picking up a magazine.  
“2lbs for your Uterus. It's thickened up.” he smiled as Clint swallowed unpleasantly, seeing the 'Hello!' magazine slide in, with Tony's face on the front cover.  
“Another magazine for your extra blood. You need it now you're developing a person inside you.”  
Clint straightened his back, the rucksack becoming rather uncomfortable.  
“Fluid retention!” Bruce grinned, picking up what seemed to be a half a pack of baking marzipan. “2.5lbs.”  
Clint looked over at Pepper for moral support who simply smiled back like some kind of woman Illuminati member.  
“Breast milk....” Bruce began, looking at the table of items. “We'll call that two bananas...” he slid those in, on top of the other things,  
“And finally, body fat—you'll burn off that with all the breasfeeding you'll do.” He picked up a large bag of self-raising flower. “One kilogram.”  
Dumping it unceremoniously in the rucksack, Clint felt his knees buckle slightly and suddenly felt both enlightened, and for some reason, guilty.  
Bruce slid his hands in his pocket, admiring his handiwork like a kid at a 12 grade science fair.  
“...how you feeling Clint?”  
“...Heavy.” he replied.  
“Oh, don't worry. Just have plenty of sleep, and you can cope with the next 19 weeks no problems.”  
Clint sighed and thought with a guilty conscience all the nights he had been less than sympathetic to Natasha's pregnancy, to her poor sleep cycle. All the times he'd been confused when she'd tottered away for a nap or asked to leave somewhere early so she could sleep. When he'd been bothered at her for falling asleep during a movie or when she'd had to get up to see to the kids.  
“...I get it.” he began quietly. “I get it.”  
“See, the reason she doesn't mind is because to her, it's not flour and fruit and magazines. It's her baby. She's grown it for 21 weeks, she's felt it move inside her...” Bruce began with something Clint couldn't quite name, glowing in his eyes. “...Earlier we shone a flash light at her stomach and she felt the baby roll over...”  
Clint smiled, his throat getting tight.  
“She will need as much sleep as she can get, She'll get breathless walking upstairs, she'll have trouble getting up off the couch, out of the bath, she'll get dizzy just lying down. She may even call in sick to work because she's too tired to get dressed and shower...So you have to be there to pick up the slack.”  
Clint nodded, smiling at him.  
“Got it.”  
The front door opened, a crash of car keys on the table announced Tony Stark was home.  
“Traffic as far as they eye can see, bumper to bumper, yahoo gum-shoes couldn't direct piss into a toi--” he stared blankly at Clint.  
Clint's jaw tensed.  
“...Say one god-damn word Stark, and I swear I will kill you.”  
Tony looked to Pepper and took her hands in his and looked at her with a conflicted expression.  
“I am so, so sorry you had to find out like this.” he crossed to where Clint was stood and put his hand on the rucksack, stroking it protectively.  
“But we're in love and we plan to marry and I hope we have your blessing...”  
Clint burst out laughing as Pepper chuckled. Even Bruce managed a smile and a forehead scratch.  
Tony smiled and strolled away towards the coffee percolator  
“I was just giving Clint a crash course in gynaecological biology.” Bruce began awkwardly.  
“From what I know of Clint Barton he has a PHD in gynaecological biology.” Tony replied breezily.  
Clint gave him a half withering look before looking to Bruce and then at the rucksack.  
“Thanks. It's been 'Educational'.”  
“I hope it's been useful.” Bruce responded, beginning to empty the rucksack, and returning it's contents to the kitchen.  
“Well...Let's just say I'm gonna be a hell of a better husband from now on...” he smiled.

**Author's Note:**

> All measurements are approximate and were gleaned from the internet.  
> Taken from an RP on tumblr


End file.
